Case Assessment by Dr. DeWitt

Dan

Dan first came to see me because of problems succeeding in college related to anxiety, which was initially identified by his general medical doctor. At the time of his first visit he was easily diagnosed as having Panic Disorder and treatment was started including medication and psychotherapy. On the day I met him he told me that his worst fear was that he was going to die. It's often true that in the midst of a panic attack that someone believes they are dying, so his statement seemed rather typical. As the weeks and then months passed, he made good progress and his symptoms were alleviated. I also learned more about his fear of death. Beginning in the tenth grade he firmly believed he was going to die at any time. This was when he quit really trying academically. It is very unusual for a fear of death to be so crippling at this age. It seemed to be explainable based upon experiences of the death of loved ones: his grandfather when he was in the ninth grade, and a good friend the summer between the tenth and eleventh grades. However, working through this material in therapy didn't help; his fear continued.

It was not until two and a half years after our first meeting that we got to the underlying problem. I was seeing Dan a little more frequently in the fall of 1997. He began to speak of what he thought was a peculiar affinity for the Vietnam War era. He had been fascinated by the movies depicting that war and enjoyed popular music from that time period despite the fact that he wasn't born until 1973. He had fantasies of being a soldier and was convinced he had done something "really bad." He disclosed that he is a fanatic about all living things, to the point he has cried over the deaths of insects. He had a recurrent dream of wandering in the woods looking for his family. Reluctantly he approached his explanation of all this. Sensing where the conversation was going, I asked him if he'd thought he'd lived before. He grinned sheepishly, said yes, and expressed his fear that he'd be considered crazy.

Several years earlier I had read Dr. Raymond A. Moody's book, Coming Back, A Psychiatrist Explores Past-Life Journeys. I remembered there was a script for self-hypnosis and regression in the back of the book, and checked it out of the library again. Having already successfully used relaxation and visualization with Dan, I thought he would be a good candidate for hypnosis and regression. I wasn't prepared, however, for what followed.

I had been trained to use hypnosis in my psychiatry residency, and understood that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis, a combination of deep relaxation and intense mental focus. Dan went easily into a deep hypnotic trance. His body was completely limp, and his face had a very relaxed, peaceful expression. This changed as he began to visualize what seemed to be a past life. He appeared anxious and confused. At my suggestion he was able to respond to questions verbally and remain in trance. His voice was very quiet as he described being with a number of young men (ages 19-20) in a jungle. Then he could see all of the others dead. He could see one soldier whom he thought was himself, injured and dying. "I don't want to go [die]…" I gave him suggestions to go back in time earlier in this remembered life. He could then see himself as a boy riding a bicycle. He saw a white house with a big inviting porch. It was his house and he remembered the porch as the location for many happy family gatherings. He smiled as he described seeing his dog. He could see a dark-haired woman that he thought was his mother. The session soon ended and as he was leaving he said, "I think we're on to something."

At his next visit two weeks later he noted that his anxiety had increased some. He had fears that the old full-blown panic attacks would recur. Nevertheless he wanted to try another regression. Again he went easily into trance and happily returned to the white house. He could visualize walking through the house. He saw the kitchen, its wooden cabinets and a wooden table with a glass centerpiece. There were flowered curtains on the window. On the screened-in porch there was a "deep freeze". He smiled as he looked outside and saw his yellow dog. As he looked at a set of stairs, he said he didn't want to go up. I saw him have a startle response and he described an old man, his grandfather, sitting in a chair. Then the scene shifted suddenly to the inside of a church. He saw the church filled with people wearing black, and the presence of a casket. Next he was transported to a fire in a village. Our time was growing short and he had much to review and think about. We would have to look into the fire later.

At the next regression Dan could picture himself in high school at the time that his grandfather died. His feelings of sadness were palpable, but soon replaced with distress at another scene. Again he saw a fire, but it wasn't the town near where he lived. It was a primitive village of huts made of bamboo. He wondered if the location was Vietnam or Cambodia. With pain on his face he related the horrifying details. "We had orders," he said about his group of soldiers starting the fires. He was distressed to describe his awareness of people burning up. "The smell is terrible…I can hear children crying. Not all the people die. We shoot some of them…we make them dig a hole, then shoot them in." He was not satisfied with the rationale he had been given - that the people attacked were under suspicion for hiding weapons. Then he went back to the scene in which he is injured, near the end of this life. All his friends were dead around him. He had been shot in the shoulder. "I have to get away…they're following me…" In a few seconds Dan suddenly jerked backwards in the chair. I asked him what happened. "I was just shot," he said, "a fellow with a moustache grinned and shot me in the head [at very close range].

Dan continued to come for further sessions, some to go over what he remembered in the regressions, and others for more regression work. He visited what seemed to be a life before the one in which he was a soldier in Vietnam. In that life too, he died at a young age from being shot in the head. As amazing and horrifying as his recalled experiences were, he ended up feeling tremendous relief. He could make sense of his concerns about harming living things. He could see what lead to his belief that he would die at a young age in this life. Most importantly Dan tells me he's not afraid of death anymore.

Though I too was starting to lose my own anxiety about death, I found myself in the midst of a personal and professional crisis. The second I saw Dan lurch backwards in his chair, the world changed for me. More accurately, my view of the world was changed. I started reading about the subject voraciously. I found that other doctors, some psychiatrists, had their own dramatic examples of patients who seemed to have lived before. I knew I couldn't turn back. I could no longer treat a patient without considering the spiritual dimension. Patients were bigger beings than I had been used to considering. I became determined to combine my background as a medical scientist and my emerging spiritual awareness.

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